Response to "Come On People!"

Amen! Two snaps sista. Or is that out? Perhaps I should be crankin' my Soulja Boy (do I have one?) or doin' the Superman. Speaking of that, 104.9 announced the real meaning to the lyrics of the extremely popular song "Crank That (Soulja Boy)." You all know it. You let your kids sing it. You probably played it at your wedding. Sing it with me now:

"Soulja boy off in this hoe,
Watch me crank it,
Watch me roll,
Watch me crank dat soulja boy,
Then super man dat hoe!"

Heeeeey! Right. Ladies, singing and dancing to this song makes about as much sense as wailing the classic 2000 love anthem, "Beat That Bitch with a Bat." The lyrics to this song mean that when a man can't get a girl to have sex with him, he masturbates and releases himself on her back after she falls asleep. Next, he takes the sheets and covers her up with his "soldiers" still on her. Overnight, his secretion will dry and become gelatinous. If you're a little lost, stay with me now (this is the part where you'd usually be turning the radio up). When she wakes up the next morning, she'll stand up with a sheet stuck to her back like a cape! You should feel proud, gentlemen, you have just "Supermaned dat ho!" Romantic, right ladies. Now many of you may be reeling in disgust, poised to send me some scathing hate mail. Please do. I'll be sure to forward it to Soulja Boy. If you feel that I shouldn't be writing this vulgar material..you shouldn't be playing it!

The fact that this song is No. 1 on the charts is a true example of how our society is declining. We dance to this and play it without ever questioning the meaning. I'm guilty of it too. As a culture we do this on a larger scale every day. We accept the repetitive images that the media shoves down our throats, and we regurgitate it to our children.

The fact that record companies give the radio money to play songs play over and over like this should make you think. The execs recognize that heavy airtime will garner a song's popularity. Do you ever hear positive records playing over and over... No. There is no benefit for a rich exec to empower the masses. It's much more desireable to give an illusion of power (bling, bucks and ballin'), while on a more dangerous subconsciuos level brainwashing the people. No, I don't think it's a conspiracy or that everyone is a racist; it's simply more convenient for those in power to maintain that power. But we are the creators of our own destiny in life, and as powerless as society has made us to feel, we do have the abilty to stop this nonsense.

Now, you might say, the radio just plays what people like! But at a certain point when you innundate your children with mindless crap, you create adults who only like this type of music. It's a Catch 22. Issues like this leave me scratching my head asking the circular question...What came first the chicken or the egg? ... Or the chicken-head?

Come On People!

The much publicized Democratic National Debate aired live a couple days ago, as I'm sure you know. (I sent text messages, I hope y'all got them) I'm not going to get into the specifics of the debate, because it has been beaten to death, but watching the debate and hearing some of the comments, especially from black people, has weighed heavily on my heart. This also made me think of Bill Cosby's very timely book, Come On People! On the Path From Victims to Victors, which came out last year. Whoever has not yet read this book, please do, it is extremely thought provoking and relevant to this presidential election season.



In his book, Cosby takes a desperately needed and blatantly truthful look into the state of Black people today. He tells the not-so-shocking truth about the real reason why we can't get ahead, our lack of a strong family unit. He comments on everything from how our poor eating habits result in diabetes and high blood pressure, to reasons why over exposure to the media can result in a much distorted sense of what is really important, to why the 'N' word can never be a positive word! Cosby challenges parents to take responsibility for raising their children to be respectful, law abiding citizens who go to school, church, and speak correct English without feeling ashamed. More importantly, he includes "Call Outs" throughout his book where he presents a positive image of a Black person who has "made it" and offers advice on how everyone can do the same. He makes the point that there is hope for Black people who are willing to work hard, quit holding on to the obstacles that tie them down and not be trapped by institutional racism. Finally, some truth that no one wants to hear.



Unfortunately a Black man speaking the truth will most likely get much more criticism than acclaim, or maybe even get him killed in extreme cases. (Let's not forget Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Mickey Leland, sadly the list goes on). Black people have been lashing out against Cosby for taking the position that we need to stop playing the victim role because it will not get us anywhere! He is right! Yes Black people have obstacles, and yes we have had a hard time overcoming those obstacles, but Come on People! If a small child in Indonesia can work his fingers to the bone to assemble my Michael Kors shoebooties (my made up word for the 'of the season' part shoe/part boot) and make 15 cents an hour, then Black people can at least graduate from high school, Black boys can at least wear a t-shirt that does not look like a dress, and Black girls can at least not "gap 'em open" for every clown that says he can "buy you a drank." I do not doubt that some guy out there has tried to impress some chick with that line.



I know that the problems we have as a people are deep-rooted and far-reaching, and it seems like such a daunting task to attempt to bring about change in an entire race of people. But, granted our history in this country, entrenched with erroneous assertions that we are inferior and undeserving of equal treatment, of love, and at the extreme, of the right to be recognized as a full human being, we have "overcome." We are arguably the most copied race of people in the world. "Urban" fashion lines like Baby Phat, Sean John, and G-Unit make millions of dollars overseas (foreigners must be buying the stuff because I don't know anyone waiting for G-Unit's spring line to debut). Still, we cannot manage to be proud of ourselves. Some of us are all too happy to tout the 1/16th of our lineage that is Irish, or better yet, some of us have decided that Creole is now a race. Right. Barack Obama is running for President of the United States and the best we can do is to berate him for not showing up in Jena, or for not being "black" enough, etc. He is the first VIABLE black candidate to run for president! You have to recognize that means something more than petty name-calling and slanderous attempts to poke holes in his campaign. Let's focus on the big picture, which is what really counts. Please do not believe that Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, or John Edwards will ever know what it is like to be a black person. And, even if you don't support Obama, keep it to yourself. When is the last time you heard about an Italian publicly berating another Italian, or an Asian putting another Asian on blast? Doesn't happen. We really just all need to stop because the civil rights leaders are rolling over in their graves right now and I think they would like some rest. Yes we need to Save Darfur, but we also need to Save Houston, Save St. Louis, Save Washington, D.C., Baltimore, and extra-racist Louisiana to name a few.



Black people in America are going through a "cultural genocide" and I encourage everyone to take just a moment to think about what you might do to help address and somehow improve this extreme situation. And it may be that the best thing that you can do for Black people is to be the best "you" that you can be, a positive example can be a very powerful thing! Be an example that amidst a culture where kids know the dance to "Crank that Soulja Boy" and couldn't tell you who is running for president, there are still Black people who are educated and well spoken; who do more than rap, sing and minstrel dance, I mean hip-hop dance; and who have respect for women and old people. (Dancing and singing is great, don't get me wrong, but depositing a paycheck is better, and writing someone else's paycheck is even better than that. I'm just saying that there are other ways to make a dollar.) Bill Cosby is right, a strong family is the key to success. Can we not resurrect the Black family? Can we not plan for children instead of just having them so kids can see their mother and father together. Can we not get married and actually try and stay married, instead of "gigolo-ing" until the wheels fall off? Can we not be role models for the children (there is hope for them (I think)). Can we make good choices about life and love. Can we respect each other, instead of Black men and women being against each other. Aren't we tired of fighting yet? I am.



If this whole "black people need to get it together" dialogue seems trite, that's because IT IS! This is definitely becoming all too cliché, but as we begin this new year I cannot help but wonder is this 2008 going on 1958?



Again, I strongly encourage everyone who has not read Come on People! already to do so, and actually think about what he's saying. And whether you like Obama or not, think he's great or not, recognize that history is being made, and soon we will see just how racist, or sexist, the United States of America still is. One will soon outshine the other. Oh, and if Obama can't at least win South Carolina that will be terrible, and in that case I no longer want to be recognized as a black person (it is a social construction anyway). Just think of me as a descendant of Africa, or a daughter of the African diaspora. (Hahaha)



RR

From Pissin' Playas to Conscious Crackheads...

People are funny. There were white people on my campus that would sit and have hour-long conversations with street people and empty out their pockets at the end of hearing the tales of woe and destituteness...I don't know, maybe because they felt like they were connecting with the underdogs or something. But on the opposite extreme, I have a friend who runs and screams everytime someone comes up to her for a dollar. Me, I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm not going to be hustled, but I will treat you like the human being that you are.

Recently, in my brief interactions with homelss people, they have uttered some of the most insightful commentary. One guy told my jittery friend that if she was scared of him, then it was because she was scared of what she could become. This other guy told me I looked sad and that I was too pretty to let the ugliness of the world cloud it.But, the best one was this weekend. I was on a date at Sambuca when this guy came up reeking of booze and asking for money. My date barked at him to go on and stop bothering us. The homeless guy told my date that his arrogant attitude was bothering him too. He told my date to treat everyone that he meets as a teacher and a student. You can teach a small baby to walk, talk, eat, but that baby can teach you patience, unconditional love, playfulness...

This stuck with me. Even with the "annoying" people in my life, I try to take a step back and ask what lesson I'm supposed to learn from that person. They must be in my life for a reason, and the quicker I figure out what they represent, the quicker I can move on. So, even from a smelly, drunk homeless guy I can learn life lessons. He was so insightful, wow...Then he asked me if the hair on my vagina was as silky as the hair on my head...Nedless to say the moment was lost, but you get the point ;P

"Wise words do oft out of the mouths of Fools themselves bespeak." William Shakespeare

Piss n' Tell

I alluded to an incident in Starbucks a few weeks ago which I feel that someone other than myself and the Starbucks employees should know...

I was studying at the Highland Village Starbucks across from P.F. Changs on a Friday afternoon. I was deeply engrossed in thoughts of Texas Civil Procedure when I briefly noticed a man come in and sit in a stool adjacent to my chair. Due to the fact that I was intensely focused that day, AND the fact that I am slowly getting over the "coffee bar as a hookup spot" theory, I paid this man absolutely no attention! In hindsight that is probably why he went out of his way to talk to me, we all know that when you ignore someone they want you even more. (If you didn't know that then you just learned a golden piece of information).

After a few more minutes of my purposely not making eye contact, he tapped me on the shoulder & said that I had a piece of string on my back which, lucky for me, he'd removed. Sadly, I didn't immediately realize that this was a cheesy ploy to engage me in conversation, and being the overly fashion conscious person that I am, I honestly thanked him for removing the string. Who wants to go around with a long piece of string on their back?

What followed was a 10-15 minute conversation which I must admit was not half bad. He explained that he was in business as a mortgage broker, and also taught martial arts classes on the side. I'm thinking, gotta love a guy with a side hustle, right? After I explained that I needed to return to studying, we ended our conversation and he went into the restroom. Nothing unusual about going to the restroom right? Just wait.

After coming out of the restroom, he gave me a card with his phone number, and said he would like to get together with me sometime to hang out or have a drink. Not sooner than 10 seconds of him leaving Starbucks did an employee at the register ask me, "Did that guy try and talk to you?" I immediately thought that he was going to tell me that the guy was a "regular" there, and picked up women all the time. That assumption would have been much better that what followed. The employee said in a very serious tone, "Don't talk to him." When I asked what happened, the employee explained that he was cleaning the restroom right before the guy went in, and had to wait outside the restroom when the guy went in because it was one of those one person at a time restrooms. When the employee re-entered the restroom to finish cleaning, he said that the guy not only pissed all over the restroom, but threw a pile of trash on the floor on the opposite wall from which the trash can was located!

Neither one of us could fathom why someone would do that, and in a public restroom to make it worse. I thought, maybe he has an unsteady hand, maybe early symptoms of Parkinson's disease. Nope, can't have Parkinson's and teach martial arts. There was no explanation for such a rude and depraved attack on a public restroom. Then I thought, was there anything in the conversation I had with him that would alert me that he was crazy? Anything abnormal? Usually I make it a point to look out for signs that a man is crazy because women who don't pay attention often wind up on that flyer in the mail that shows what you should look like after 8 years have passed.

I must admit that this guy did spend the majority of the conversation talking about himself, but that's usually an indication of a large ego or a man trying to be impressive, not a lack of public restroom protocol! Hardcore Sex and the City fans out there know the episode that came to my mind, the one when Carrie is dating a politician who asks her to pee on him. Could this guy have a pissing fetish that had reared its ugly head several dates too soon? I wondered, is this the return of the "golden shower," the public version? What if I had actually called that guy? What if I had agreed to go on a date? I have to get that employee at Starbucks a great Christmas present. He may have saved my life, or at the very least my dress.